The Five Stages of Grief
by GoldenNickel
Summary: When Harry dies in an accident, James must learn to come to terms with his father's death.
1. Denial

**Denial**

* * *

 ** _The Boy Who Lived is Dead_**

 _Harry Potter, most recently notable for his contributions as an Auror for the Ministry of Magic, passed away suddenly on Thursday August 22, 2019._

 _Potter, 39, was reportedly working a case when an accident occurred, causing the death of Potter and injuring several other Aurors on the job. Officials haven't released any specific information to the public._

 _The loss of Harry Potter is a tragedy that has shaken the entire Wizarding World. The Potter family has asked for privacy during this difficult time._

* * *

When Ginny broke the news to her oldest son, it broke her heart. James Sirius Potter stared at his mother blankly, as if he couldn't comprehend what she was telling him.

"No," James said after a moment of silence. "No, that's not true…I…I just saw him this morning."

"James, sweetie…" Ginny's words caught in her throat. She held back a sob, determined to stay strong in front of her children.

"He was here _this morning_ ," James repeated. "He can't just be _gone_. No, Dad _always_ comes home. He can't be-. He has to come home!"

How do you explain to your child that his father isn't coming home? Ginny was at a loss for words. She'd told Lily and Albus together, deciding to tell James last and alone. She knew it would be even harder on him.

* * *

 ** _The Night Before_**

 _"You're being unfair!" James yelled, storming out of the living room and towards his bedroom._

 _"James," Harry sighed, following his son through the house. "Sometimes we don't always get what we want. I'm sorry, but my answer is no."_

 _Instead of a response, Harry received a slammed door. He shook his head and returned to the living room, knowing that James would cool down before too long. Ginny walked over to him, smiling slightly._

 _"Don't worry, he'll be okay," she said, sitting on the couch next to her husband._

 _"I know," Harry said, "I hate arguing with him…"_

 _"He's a 15 year old boy," Ginny replied, "Arguments are unavoidable sometimes."_

 _"True," Harry sighed, looking towards his son's bedroom door._

 _The next morning, Harry peeked into James's bedroom and saw the boy laying on his bed, facing away from the door._

 _"James," Harry said quietly, "Are you awake?"_

 _James made a noise of affirmation but didn't turn towards his father._

 _"I'm sorry, James." Harry continued, "You just don't need a new broom right now. Maybe for Christmas, yeah?" James didn't respond. "I have to get going, okay? I love you, James."_

 _Harry waited for a reply. When he didn't get one he said "I love you" to James one last time and gently shut the door._

* * *

"Your father loved you very much, James," Ginny said, sitting down on James's bed and wrapping her arms around him. He pushed her away and flung himself down onto the bed, refusing to meet her eyes. Ginny stared at her son sadly. She sat on his bed patiently, waiting for James to be ready to talk. After almost ten minutes of silence, Ginny stood up.

"I'm going to go make some dinner, okay? I'll bring you something if you're not feeling up to joining us."

James continued to lay in silence as his mother bent down and kissed him on the cheek. Ginny left the room quietly, leaving the door open as she went.


	2. Anger

**Anger**

* * *

 _ **Potter Funeral Open to Public**_

 _Harry Potter's funeral will be open to the public from 1 pm to 4 pm on Monday, August 26_ _th_ _. A smaller, more private service will be held later that day for friends and family of the Potters._

 _The news of Harry Potter's death took the Wizarding World by surprise when it was announced late Thursday evening. Witches and Wizards everywhere are mourning the loss of the war hero who famously defeated He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named more than twenty years ago._

 _Potters wife, Ginevra Potter, maiden name Weasley, spoke briefly to the Daily Prophet on Friday, saying that her husband's passing is "a great loss to everyone, but mostly to his family. His loss will stay with us forever."_

 _Potter is survived by his wife and three children, James Potter, Albus Potter, and Lily Potter._

* * *

"How could you talk to the Prophet about Dad?" James asked his mother sullenly, glaring at the grass as Ginny straightened his tie.

"After the twelfth reporter showing up at the door I just gave them a quote so I could have some peace and quiet," Ginny admitted. "But what I said was true."

"I don't care," James retorted, "I don't care if the rest of the world is sad that Dad is gone. They don't _know_ him; they don't need to be here."

"Your dad deserves this, James. A lot of people cared about him. He was a hero."

"He still is a hero!" James shouted, drawing the attention of several mourners in the cemetery.

"I know that James," Ginny said gently, running her hand over his hair in an attempt to both sooth him and control his bed-head locks.

"Don't touch me," James swatted away Ginny's hand and walked away from her, marching further into the cemetery, away from Harry's grave. Ginny watched him go sadly but didn't chase after him.

Albus and Lily walked over to their mother, wrapping their arms around her.

"Your brother just needs time to deal with this…" Ginny said, putting an arm around both of her children. "We all do."

* * *

That night the Potter household was mostly silent. After a long day of hearing condolences from strangers and having to stay strong in front of everyone, Ginny was ready to fall into bed and never get up again. She didn't go to sleep yet, though.

James had hardly said a word during the funeral except for his quick outburst. He'd shown back up near the grave less than five minutes after storming off and just stared at the newly made headstone which read _"Harry Potter, beloved husband, father, and friend. 31 July, 1980-22 August, 2019"_

Ginny entered James's bedroom quietly and sat on his bed. James was staring at his ceiling; a position Ginny had found him in every day since Harry's death.

"Do you want to talk?" Ginny asked.

James shot a glance her way but didn't respond. Ginny waited, until finally James sat up and spoke.

"He _promised_ me," James muttered, holding back tears. "He _promised!_ "

"What did he promise you, sweetheart?" Ginny asked gently, putting a hand on her son's shoulder.

"He promised me he'd always be there!" James yelled, the tears pouring from his eyes. He swiped at his cheeks, wiping away the wet trails that the tears left behind.

* * *

 _ **Four Years Before**_

 _"I don't want to go, Dad." James shook his head and stared up at his father, close to tears._

 _"You'll love Hogwarts, I promise," Harry said, smiling. He ruffled James's hair. "You can write to your mother and I every day if you'd like. I know you'll miss us, and we'll miss you too, but you'll be home at Christmas. Time will fly by at Hogwarts. Soon enough you'll be missing Hogwarts when you come home."_

 _James sniffled slightly. Harry knelt down in front of him and kissed his cheek._

 _"Don't worry, James. I'll always be here for you."_

 _James smiled at Harry and flung his arms around him, hugging him tightly._

 _"I'll write to you as soon as I know which house I'm in!" James exclaimed, giving his mother and father a kiss goodbye and rushing to get on the Hogwart's Express. He waved at his parents until they were out of sight and then went to find a compartment to sit in, suddenly feeling much less anxious about being away from home._

* * *

"James…" Ginny whispered, tears forming in her own eyes, "You know your father would be here if he could be. He _loves you."_

"Then he should be here to tell me himself!" James exclaimed angrily. "He shouldn't have _left us!_ "

"It was an accident, sweetie…He didn't _want_ to leave…You know that, James."

James stood quickly and ran out of his bedroom, slamming the door behind him.


	3. Bargaining

**Bargaining**

* * *

 ** _Potter Memorials Causing Concern_**

 _Witches and Wizards from several countries have taken it upon themselves to remember Harry Potter by setting up memorials dedicated to The Boy Who Lived. These home-made shrines are being placed on street corners, in alleyways, and even in Muggle sporting stadiums._

 _The Ministry of Magic has asked that, should you decide to remember Mr. Potter in this way, you take care and only place these memorials in strictly Wizarding communities. Muggle newspapers have reported several stories with headlines such as "Who is Harry Potter?" and "RIP, The Boy Who Lived?"_

 _These memorials placed in Muggle-inhabited areas of the world are a direct violation of the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy and anyone caught setting up such a memorial will be arrested on the spot and face severe punishment._

* * *

James kneeled on the grass in front of his father's grave, his head bowed and his hands clenched into fists. He squeezed his eyes shut and fought back tears.

"I'm so sorry, Dad." He nearly choked on the words. "I promise I'll be good…I don't even want a new broom anymore; I just want you to come home…"

A gentle breeze ruffled James's hair. He ran his fingers through it, a habit he'd picked up from Harry, and struggled to find words. Ginny was standing near the cemetery's gate, out of ear shot, waiting patiently.

James hadn't visited the grave since the funeral, three days before. He'd spent those three days in his bedroom, not eating or sleeping much. Ginny had brought him food, which he'd left mostly untouched, and she'd sat with him every night after he'd woken up screaming from a nightmare.

"I need you to come home, Dad…please…" Unable to hold them back any longer, the tears fell from James's eyes and splashed onto the grass in front of him. "We all need you…Please come back, Dad, I promise I'll never ask for anything ever again!"

Every night since the funeral, James had had the same nightmare. He was walking hand-in-hand with Harry on a crowded street when suddenly he lost his grip on his father's hand. He'd desperately groped the air in front of him, only to realize that Harry had disappeared. In his dream, James searched around for what seemed like hours, unable to find Harry again. After repeatedly screaming for his father to find him, James would wake up, yelling and out of breath.

* * *

 ** _Eight Years Before_**

 _Harry had taken James and Albus on a day-trip to Diagon Alley. He'd brought them to George's joke shop, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, and was walking with them towards Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour, now run by Florean's grandson, when James's grasp on Harry's hand vanished. Harry, who had been holding Albus in one arm and James's hand with the other, looked around frantically for his oldest son._

 _After searching for several minutes, he'd found James sitting on the ground, covering his face with his hands and sobbing. He'd gotten distracted by the brooms in a shop window and had gone over to look before realizing that he wasn't with Harry anymore._

 _Harry bought his sons ice cream and kept James close for the rest of the trip._

* * *

When James was 7, losing his father had been the scariest experience of his life. Now he would give anything for his father to lean down and gently pull him to his feet again. James leaned forward and clutched the ground, pulling out a fist full of grass and crushing it in his hand.

After sitting silently on the grass for a while, James stood and trudged back to his mother.

"James?" Ginny asked gently.

"Let's just go home…" James muttered. He gripped Ginny's arm and the two of them Apparated back to the Potter house. When they arrived on the front steps, James went back into his bedroom and shut the door without another word.


	4. Depression

**Depression**

* * *

 _ **Hogwarts to Honor Potter**_

 _Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry will dedicate the start-of-the-year feast to Harry Potter, Headmistress Minerva McGonagall announced today. The feast will include speeches from the Headmistress and several professors who knew Potter and remember him fondly, including Neville Longbottom, who attended Hogwarts with Potter, and Edward "Teddy" Lupin, Potter's Godson._

 _The feast, normally reserved for Hogwarts students only, will also be open to parents of students who wish to join in remembering The Boy Who Lived._

* * *

"I'm not going back!" James shouted, slamming his bedroom door in his mother's face. Ginny calmly opened the door and stood in the doorway while James dropped down and sat on the floor, leaning against his bed.

"You have to go back, sweetie," Ginny said gently, "Please just get ready to go to Diagon Alley with us to get your school supplies."

"What's the point?" James demanded, wrapping his arms around his legs and burying his face. "What's the point in magic if it can't bring him back?" James's voice cracked mid-sentence and Ginny's heart broke all over again. She walked into the bedroom and sat next to her son. Ginny wrapped her arms around James and pulled him close to her. He was shaking and small sobs escaped his lips every few seconds.

"I love you, James," Ginny said, unsure of what else to say. James continued to cry and lean on Ginny for support.

"I don't want to go back," James sobbed, "It just won't be the same."

"I know, honey…" Ginny said quietly, thinking about how empty the house would be when all of her children returned to school in 2 days. "I know, but your father would want us to keep moving forward…We have to…" Ginny's words caught in her throat and she suppressed the tears that were threatening to fall.

James looked up at his mother and saw the grief on her face. He threw his arms around her and squeezed her tight. At this, the first sign of affection James had shown her since Harry passed away, Ginny could no longer hold back her tears. They held each other close and cried together.

* * *

 _ **Ten Years Before**_

 _A small, black-haired boy ran around on the grassy hill, screeching with glee as his father chased after him._

 _"James, get back here!" Harry said in an amused tone, reaching out and scooping the boy into his arms. James wriggled maniacally and tried to free himself from his father's grasp. Harry held tight to his son and planted a kiss on his cheek._

 _"_ Dad! _" James protested, wiping away the kiss._

 _"_ James! _" Harry copied James' tone jokingly and kissed him again._

 _James laughed and pushed away from his father, dropping to the ground and running away again. "Come get me!"_

 _Looking backwards towards Harry, James tripped forward and fell to the ground. He began to cry and Harry ran up to him and scooped him into his arms again._

 _"It'll be okay, James," Harry said warmly, "You're okay."_

 _Harry kissed James again, this time on the top of his head, and carried him back towards the Potter house where Ginny would patch up James's bleeding knee. She was always better at healing spells than he was. James looked up at his father and stopped crying, sniffling slightly but otherwise okay._

* * *

"I just don't want to go back," James muttered miserably, looking up at his mother. "What's the point?"

"The point is that your dad would have wanted you to. You love Hogwarts, James."

James sighed and stood up, wiping away his tears. He held a hand out to Ginny and helped her to her feet. "Let's go," he said, sounding only slightly less upset. "You're right…Dad would want me to go…"

Ginny smiled sadly at him and they walked out of James's room together and headed to Diagon Alley with Lily and Albus to shop for their first school year without their father.


	5. Acceptance

**Acceptance**

* * *

 _ **Potter Memorial Draws Crowd**_

 _The opening feast at Hogwarts yesterday evening saw the biggest crowd Hogwarts has ever seen in its Great Hall. During the memorial service, Hogwarts students and parents alike mingled at the 4 long tables in the hall, sitting with friends and family rather than with their Hogwarts housemates as is tradition._

 _There wasn't a dry eye in the Great Hall as several speeches were made dedicated to Harry Potter. Among the speechmakers were Minerva McGonagall, Edward "Teddy" Lupin, Neville Longbottom, and Ginevra "Ginny" Potter. Potters children were all in attendance, but none of them made speeches and were unavailable for a statement._

* * *

James folded up his copy of The Daily Prophet and tossed it into the Gryffindor fireplace, a scowl on his face.

"They act like it was a social event," James muttered, watching the paper curl up as it burned.

Lily and Albus watched their brother sadly. Albus loosened his Slytherin tie and slouched down in his chair.

"I think Dad would have liked it," Albus said quietly, watching his brother's expression carefully.

"Dad would have _liked_ to be _alive_ ," James spat, rounding on Albus angrily.

"I-." Albus started to speak but was cut off by Lily.

"Hey, don't take this out on him," Lily said to James in a voice that wasn't unkind. "We all miss Dad…"

James deflated immediately, looking defeated.

"Sorry, Al…"

Albus smiled sadly and put his hand on James's shoulder, squeezing gently.

"Hey," Lily said, feigning cheerfulness, "How about we go play some Quidditch? I could use some practice…"

"Practice?" Albus asked, "You're an amazing Quidditch player, Lils. Dad always said so."

"Yeah…but I was thinking about trying out for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team this year…One of the Chasers from last year graduated from Hogwarts so…"

"Lily! That's fantastic!" Albus grinned. He turned to his brother, who was also the Gryffindor Team Captain, and nudged his shoulder. "James, did you hear that?"

James let a small smile grace his features. "That is awesome, Lils," he said, sounding distracted but genuine.

"Although, if you join the Gryffindor Team there's no way Slytherin will win the Cup this year…" Albus said, his eyebrows knitting together. "On second thought, maybe you shouldn't try out."

Lily smacked Albus's shoulder, laughing playfully.

* * *

 _ **Fifteen Years Before**_

 _The small bundle squirmed in Ginny's arms, letting out a loud cry. The small tuft of black hair on top of the baby's head made Ginny smile as she leaned in a way that allowed Harry to see their son._

 _"He's beautiful," Ginny said, smiling up at her husband, "He's already got your hair."_

 _Harry grinned at his wife and wiped away the tears of joy that had been falling from his eyes._

 _"May I asked what his name is?" the Healer asked, smiling at the happy couple._

 _"James," Ginny and Harry spoke at the same time. Harry smiled again and motioned for Ginny to keep talking._

 _"He looks just like his father. And his father's father, from what I've heard. So James Potter it is."_

 _"Does he have a middle name?"_

 _This time it was Ginny who bowed to Harry's words._

 _"Sirius. He'll be such a little troublemaker; I can already tell. James Sirius Potter."_

 _"That_ is _asking for trouble," Ginny agreed, laughing._

* * *

James, Lily, and Albus, along with Scorpius Malfoy, walked out onto the Quidditch Pitch, carrying their brooms. Albus and Scorpius carried the trunk full of the different Quidditch balls between them.

"Alright," Albus said, mounting his broom, "Two on two, Scorp and I versus you two?"

"Sounds good to me," Lily said, climbing onto her own broom. "Ready, James?"

"Ready," James said, reveling in the feel of being on a broomstick again.

The group kicked off from the ground and James soared higher than the rest of them, flying in quick circles around the Pitch. Albus released the Snitch he'd been holding. James threw the Quaffle he'd held under his arm into the middle of the group and Lily and Albus raced to catch it. Lily was quicker and she scooped it out of thin air and dared towards the goal posts. Albus swerved in front of her and snatched the Quaffle out of her arms.

James stopped paying attention to the Chasers and focused all of his attention on finding the tiny golden sphere that was roaming around the Pitch. Scorpius was already racing towards something and James quickly followed him.

While zooming through the air, James could almost hear his father cheering him on from the stands. He was reminded of Summer days when the Potter family would play Quidditch together in the backyard. James's vision blurred with tears at the memory and he quickly swiped at his eyes.

The Snitch had disappeared again so James and Scorpius went back to slowly circling the Pitch.

James closed his eyes for a few seconds and just focused on the wind blowing through his tousled, black hair.

 _You've got this, James!_ Harry's voice floated through James's mind again and James smiled and opened his eyes again. The Snitch was there, mere feet away from his nose as if it were taunting him. James reached out to catch it but it dodged and raced ahead of him. James leaned low onto his broom and sped up, making his way towards the glint of gold that shined in the sunlight. Scorpius noticed James's efforts and quickly made to follow him.

James looked back at Scorpius and then to the Snitch again. He reached out as far as his arm would stretch and closed his fingers around the Snitch. Triumphant, James flung his arms into the air and let out a shout of happiness.

The group landed and Lily gave James a clap on the back.

Albus and Scorpius grinned at James. "Congratulations," Scorpius said, nudging James's shoulder.

"Thanks!" James exclaimed, still feeling the rush of feelings that flying always gave him. "Lily, how'd you do?"

Lily smiled at her older brother and suppressed the tears that came to her eyes at the first real sign of happiness James had shown her since Harry's death.

"Scored 10 goals to Albus's 8."

"Hey, I went easy on you," Albus insisted.

"Sure ya did, Al," Lily grinned. "So James, when are tryouts? I'm so gonna make the team, and not just because you're Captain."

James laughed. "I'll definitely let you know."

The group made their way off the Quidditch Pitch, but James hung back.

"Hey, are you coming?" Albus asked, making his way back to James.

"Soon. Give me a bit, okay?"

"Sure thing. I'll see you later, then."

Albus gave his older brother a quick hug and then ran to catch up with Lily and Scorpius. James smiled and turned back to the Quidditch Pitch. He mounted his broom again and took off. James flew for a few minutes in silence before slowing down and just meandering through the air.

"I love you, Dad…" he said quietly, "And I'll miss you. I wish you were at home right now, waiting for my letters. I wish you could see Lily make the Team. I wish you could write me a letter about how you can't wait to see me at Christmas. I wish…I wish you were there to keep Mum company while we're all away at Hogwarts…" James's heart wrenched in his chest at the thought of Ginny at the Potter house all alone. He resolved to write her a letter when he got back to his dorm, telling her how much he missed and loved her.

"I'll always miss you, Dad. But I'll make you proud, I promise. When I leave Hogwarts in a couple of years I'm going to be an Auror. I'll be someone who saves people, just like you were, Dad. And I'll be proud to tell people that I am Harry Potter's son, because you are the best Dad anyone could have hoped for and I'm proud to be your son. Thanks for everything, Dad. I love you…"

James's feet found the soft ground and he dismounted his broom, wiping away his tears. He looked to the sky one more time, smiled happily, and then turned and walked back to the Castle where his family and friends waited for him.

* * *

 **So the serious lack of reviews kind of killed my enthusiasm for this fic, but here is the final chapter. I am proud of this story so I would very much appreciate some reviews!**


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